Official Study

Hello there everyone, today I’m going to share something different with you my loyal readers. Over the years I have learned many things that are quite easy to realize and yet so many people either don’t care about them or they just don’t understand what is going on. I will present these things to you in a bulleted list format since my mother has told me that the long paragraphed posts that I have been doing are too long for her to read and she wishes for me to make a Condensed Reader’s Digest version of each one for her since she apparently has the reading attention span of a 9-month old boston terrier/beagle mix puppy. So here is my list of observations and if anyone things I deserve the same government money as all those other studies that go on to show the blatantly obvious then go ahead and send me a check or money order (or come visit with cash in hand).

• My new puppy is dumber than the walls he keeps losing fights with
• Majority of students do not care about passing their classes because they believe they will make it big in the music or movie industry and just have to drink and party the rest of their lives
• Some school officials refuse to admit that their schools have a gang problem so as to keep parents happy in the hopes that they won’t lose attendance when those paranoid parents send their kids to “safer” schools
• Parents these days need to beat their children more often, not necessarily in public but at least punish them once in a while for being such rotten creatures. Use a wooden spoon or a shoe now and then
• Every country in the world hates every other country still
• Cars with huge tires look so cute since they resemble life-size Matchbox or Hot Wheels toys
• Firefly should be brought back on the air with new episodes
• Everyone deserves the same size bonuses as the CEO’s who steal money
• Video games don’t kill people, actions taken by stupid people who are too pathetic of taking responsibility for what they did do
• Parents have come to believe that school is simply a day care facility for them to use and expect school personnel to raise their children for them
• Pipe smoke has the scent to make you think of sophistication, a den full of books, and brandy (or whisky)
• Cigarette smoke has the scent to make you cringe and think of cheap beer, squirrel hunting, and motor oil stained underwear
• Star Wars is awesome
• Star Trek…eh sometimes
• People drive really stupid these days, they prefer to speed in and around other drivers and endeavor to shove their SUV’s up the exhaust pipe of the small econo-car in front of them
• Obama is an amazing orator and has a lot of work ahead of him, but I am very optimistic
• Slavery is no longer a reason to expect better treatment, you were not a slave, your parents were not slaves, get your own job
• Racism is the stupidest reason ever used to promote violence or hatred
• I like pig; ham, pork chops, bacon, roast pork, all of it
• If we could have our wishes my wife and I would have Chinese food almost every day (preferably PF Chang’s or May Wah’s; a local place here that is amazing)
• My mother needs to sit and read my posts in their entirety you lazy lady geez.
• My niece likes me more than her own parents since she sleeps in my arms and not theirs. Nyah nyah
• I miss all the game nights my friends and I have had in the past; Xbox party nights, D&D sessions, Star Wars RPG days. Good Times
• Only four people actually read this at one time or another
• I need a job

Good day and have a root beer float for me.