How To Change the Water Pump on a VW Cabriolet

Hello and welcome to todays episode of How To. For my first attempt at being a helpful guide we're going to change the water pump of a VW Cabriolet. I don't know what year your car is or even what mine is, nor do I know what type of car you're driving so here's hoping you have a VW Cabriolet. This guide will attempt to help you understand how I fix things and suggest ways for you to become a helpful fixer around your house.

1. Find a VW Cabriolet (please don't break any laws in obtaining one for yourself).
2. Find the water pump that is attached to the engine and I think the alternator by a series of belts (or even by one long belt, I can't tell).
3. Break the water pump (my wife has been kind enough to do so already for me, but I suggest you not let her near yours).
4. Curse the car gods for making parts of the car difficult to reach.
5. Email the instructor of the auto-repair classes at your wife's school to ask how much it would cost to use your car as a training tool and get it fixed for dirt cheap prices (it's not really child slavery since it's school and they're learning).
6. Curse the car gods and the density of the skulls of the youth today after the instructor informs you that a water pump replacement is far beyond the ability of his students who are still having trouble changing a tire.
7. Drink Heavily (I suggest a good single malt whisky on the rocks along with a block of cheese, 8 cheeseburgers, and a bowl of ice cream.
8. Go out to the car and yell at it while throwing the little pickles from the cheeseburgers at the car windshield.
9. Tell your wife to take your car to work in the morning since you will be buried neck deep in the Temple of the All Powerful Porcelain God.
10. Suggest to your wife to dress in her most hoochiest clothes and walk the dog downstairs asking the guys in the parking lot, who are working on their cars, for suggestions.
11. Lock the bedroom door to keep the dogs and children out after your wife comes back upstairs and proclaims victory (rawr).
12. Post a blog online with a list of things to do and how to not go about fixing something.

Well I hope that you take these suggestions to heart and get your repairs done. With luck this will help you to become better at getting your wife to dress all hoochie like for your own benefit. Thank you and bring me some fried rice.