Stupid people should be in front of the car, not driving

We were driving around quite alot today (2 dentists, vet, lunch, and pharmacy) so I had a larger exposure to stupid drivers today than I usually do and more than I normally prefer. Personally I think that you should be given a common sense test as well as an exam to determine if you can drive while doing other activities. I don't mind people talking on the phone while they drive, it's not the safest thing in the world but there are people who can multi-task safely. Most drivers however seem to think they are able to do this even after they've screwed up. Today I saw a driver try to make a u-turn at an intersection, but since she had one hand holding the phone to her head she wasn't able to turn the steering wheel enough times to smoothly turn and enter the lane on the other side. Instead she kept one hand on the wheel, one on the phone, and stopped and reveresed and moved forward several times to line up in the lane. Meanwhile the light had changed and traffic flow resumed in the lanes she was in, and now that she was slowly jockeying her car into position since she clearly felt it was more important to stay on the phone instead of actually GET OUT OF THE WAY of oncoming traffic. I seriously need to put a PA system in my car and install a HUGE speaker on the roof (I'm thinking kinda like in Blues Brothers). That way I could inform all these idiots on what they're doing wrong and how they could rectify the situations. Of course the solutions would most often include another act that involves a word that starts with "rect".

Now that was a beat up old truck that woman was driving. Earlier today it was a shiny new SUV, once again this lady (who quickly received the nickname "Ho" from us) was talking away on her cellphone AND smoking a cigarette. Normally one or the other isn't a bad thing but since both of those items require a hand to hold onto them there were several moments where it seemed she wanted to drive in two lanes at the same time. Drive, smoke, talk on the phone. Pick two and quit the other all together or even be a responsible person and quit two of them. Stupid driving is an affliction had by all levels of people. Poor folks might not have been able to get the driving classes other people could afford and merely had an outdated handbook to go by when studying for their drivers test, if they took the test at all. Rich folks might feel that they're too important to even learn how to drive the larger more expensive cars with all the special doo-dads in them. They might have bought their car simply because it matched their hair color when it was dyed. Or perhaps they just don't know how to drive because they never took the test either.

I don't know why people drive so stupid and I don't know why people can't be responsible enough to make driving safer for everyone by simply following the rules. I enjoy it to no end to go the speed limit and watch people pile up behind me because they want to faster, and when they get fed up and speed past me I roll my windows down and laugh maniacally as they are getting a brand new speeding ticket written for them. This is fair warning that if you are following me so close that all I see is the backseat of your car, I will come to a complete stop. I won't be suicidal and slam on my brakes, but I will take my foot off of the gas and coast to a stop. If there's no room for you to pass by the time we stop then I hope you learn to back off and slow down. Driving that close is just another way of just asking to be a statistic. Some people live for that life on the edge adrenaline rush, most other people live for that breathing on your own living kind of life rush. I'm a Star Wars geek but I have no wish what so ever to actually have a machine breathe for me like Darth Vader. For goodness sake people those cars at minimum weigh just under a ton. If you don't have a clue how much a ton weighs, then go look it up, my wife is the teacher not me. Things break when you drive stupid and hit something or someone and not just the precious paint job and fender ding on your pretty Mercedes.

There was a saying back when I was growing up, "Stay within the lines, the lines are our friends". I think it was relating to coloring in a book but it fits so much better when applied to driving. Those lines on the ground are there for a reason. Go between the lines don't put one set of lines under your seat as you drive. OHH another thing, what the hell is wrong with you people these days that you have to park backwards? Time and time again I have been following someone in a parking lot and see them pass an empty slot. At first I thought "Oh they want a closer spot or they're leaving" only to have to slam on my brakes because this idiot has thrown his car (usually a sports car or HUGE SUV) into reverse and is now taking 30 minutes just to back into that parking spot. You're going to take extra time to park just so that it takes you less time to pull out? Or sometimes I'll be pulling into a parking spot and come face to face with some fool pulling through the opposite side of the spot and trying to now park on top of my hood. How can people turn something so simple as parking a car into a complicated manuever that aggravates everyone around them? Do everyone a favor and drive smart. Take it simple at first, just drive smart one day out of the week. When you find that it is easier than you thought then hopefully we can eradicate stupid driving completely and then we can start working on that world peace thing. Now bring me a doughnut that made me hungry.